We tend to get infatuated with people we admire. And this is because we think that these people have some traits or a behavior that we don’t.
Therefore, we put them on a pedestal, sometimes even diminishing ourselves.
I always perceived my dad as being the most organized and disciplined person. He is a master in organizing papers, documents, money, basically anything related to bureaucracy. As for myself… well, I have the amazing capability to lose even the receipt I’m now holding in my hand ). I am not able to find the papers from last week, because I literally have no order with them…
This is why I admire my dad for being organized. But because I’ and I diminished myself throughout time thinking of myself as disorganized and messy.
A new perspective…
A peer coach presented me with Dr John Demartini’s work and coaching method. He is one of the world’s leading authorities on human behavior and personal development. I won’t go into too many details about the methods he uses, but there’s this one sentence that particularly struck a cord with me:
“Any area of your life that you don’t empower, others will overpower.”
I had disempowered myself on the <<organized>> trait, and this is why I even gave up my opinions in front of my dad. This is something absolutely normal when you feel that the other person has more knowledge. Still, not necessarily the best approach.
Many times after doing something his way, I felt that my way could have been even better, but I wasn’t trusting myself enough to try it out, as I was diminishing my capability to organize myself and thus my father had the “overpower” in this field.
My own way of being organized
By understanding myself more and analyzing all of the areas of my life, I’ve come to see that although I tend to be disorganised with some things, I am very structured in my business, job, projects and social life – these all being things that matter to me. I found actual examples.
Just switching to a different perspective empowered me!
Empowering myself and seeing my dad proud
I managed to show him that in some areas I am just as organized as he is I am now able to express my opinions and my point of view in front of my dad! Also, because he has also seen that my lack of organization is not a general thing, he is now really open to hearing out my opinions (compared to before) and proud of seeing these traits in me.
This change of perception worked wonders on all of the aspects of my life: friends, romantic partners, business partners and, of course, my personal brand.
Now, I am so happy with who I am and I can see that I am as good as any other human being!
And it feels amazing
How can you empower yourself?
- Think about those areas/traits where you think you’re not good enough, compared with other people.
- Find between 15-20 concrete situations where you demonstrated these traits/behaviors
- Think about who were the people who witnessed these situations
I can bet you that even if at first you can’t seem to find these situations, they are there!
You just didn’t look for them well enough and probably never paid credit to yourself!
If you want to deep-dive into this subject and start empowering yourself, gaining ownership and self confidence, I am here to help!